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Nicholas Boothman - How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less
Publisher: Listen & Live Audio, Inc.; Unabridged edition (November 2004)
Whether meeting a new client or bumping into a potential mate, you only have a few seconds to make a favorable impression. Is that really possible? Author Nicholas Boothman, a lecturer and licensed master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming, believes yes! He introduces a revolutionary approach to face-to-face communication that will help anyone succeed at making meaningful, and immediate, connections. Easily learned, it will help you make the best of any relationship¡¯s most important moment¡ªthose first 90 seconds.
Learn the power of a Really Useful Attitude, the secrets of voice tone and body language, the difference between "opening up" words and "closing down" words. And reinforcing all of these skills is knowing how to read another person¡¯s sensory preference¡ªmost of us are Visual people, some are Kinesthetic and a few are Auditory. So when you say, "I see what you mean" to a Visual, you¡¯re really speaking his or her language. And then you¡¯re on your way!
The average person's attention span lasts about 30 seconds. That means first and immediate impressions count, and big. In this modern-day update of Dale Carnegie's classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, former fashion photographer Nicholas Boothman instructs you in how to mold those 30 seconds to your greatest advantage and connect with others at business and social functions.
Boothman, now a lecturer and licensed master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming (the art and science of how the brain affects human connections), says that the key to making others like you quickly lies in establishing a rapport: you have to find out what you have in common or, if you seemingly have nothing in common, purposely try to become like the other person for a short time. He then goes on to offer simple techniques for getting a rapport going: adopt a positive attitude; make sure your words, tone, and gestures are all saying the same thing; synchronize your attitude and body movements to those of another person's (which makes the person feel comfortable with you--although he or she may not know why); and ask lots of open-ended questions. Boothman also describes how to figure out a stranger's favored sense for receiving information about the world--some rely on visual cues, others on auditory or kinesthetic (touch) input--and use it to your best advantage.
If discovering how to connect with others is the secret to business and life success, as Boothman contends, then employing the strategies in this book will make you instantly likeable and give you a leg up on the competition. --Nancy Monson
From Publishers Weekly
Blessed with an irresistible premise and title, this well-packaged self-help book draws its advice from neuro-linguistic programming and a study of interpersonal communication conducted by two UCLA doctors. While its clearly presented techniques may help readers clear communications hurdles in social and professional interactions, this upbeat volume will probably appeal most to readers interested in dating and nurturing romantic attachments. A former fashion photographer who gives "Positive Connection" seminars, Boothman breaks down the process of connecting with people into discrete stepsAmeeting, establishing rapport and opening up communicationAand provides simple examples, self-assessments, exercises and sample dialogue. He contends that a key to establishing rapport lies in synchronizing behavior or mimicking the other person's pose, facial expression, gestures, body language and tone of voice. According to the principles of neuro-linguistic programming, Boothman recommends categorizing people according to how they take in information (e.g., visually, aurally or by feel) and responding in kind. Though the book reads like an adapted seminar or puffed-up magazine article, Workman's ambitious promotional campaign and usual canny marketing may well make this little book one of the season's most popular impulse purchases. 20-city author tour.